“It all means more than I can tell you. So you must not judge what I know by what I find words for.”
I have never been a religious believer in my adult life. And there are things I think I miss out on, in a practical sense, for not being a member of a church, most particularly a sense of community. But I can’t reconcile myself with faith in the Church and its tenets. One of the concepts I struggle with the most is that of grace. I tend towards a strict definition of “fairness” at the best of times, and can get petty at worse ones. So the idea of love and forgiveness being granted not because of anything tangible that one does, but because of one’s faith, because it is needed and not because it is deserved, is honestly one that keeps me on the other side of the belief fence.
You know just from the title of Marilynne Robinson’s Gilead that it’s going to be about Christianity. As a non-believer, I shy away from the Christian/religious section of the bookstore, but when it’s won the Pulitzer, I make an exception. It’s a relatively simple story: John Ames, nearing the end of his life, recounts his experiences as a Congregationalist pastor in a small town in Iowa, called Gilead. He’s the son of a pastor, who was himself the son of a pastor, and Ames is the father of his own small son. How he came to be an older man with a lovely wife decades his junior, Lila, and a young child is revealed slowly over the course of the novel.
The connections between people are what propels this narrative. Just as important as his family is his relationship with Robert Boughton, the Presbyterian minister in town. They bonded as young men, each with their own families, but when Ames’ first wife and baby died, he became so much a part of the Boughton family that they named one of their sons after him. And it is Ames’ conflict with this now-adult son, his namesake, that provides the tension that keeps it moving. He has devoted his life to his faith, even after his beloved brother left it behind and even his pastor father lost it. A central tenet of Christian doctrine is forgiveness, grace. But Ames doesn’t know that he can forgive Jack Boughton for actions he took as a young man…and when Jack returns to Gilead after a long time away, he’s brought into closer contact with the younger man and the issue becomes pressing.
I’ve always been a person who finishes reading a book. I know it’s not for everyone, and quite often I wish I wasn’t this way and that I could just put down a book that isn’t working for myself and spare the frustration. But every so often, there are books that I would have put down, if I did that, that do end up being worth my time. This was one of them. It started, for me, very slow. I didn’t really love Robinson’s Homecoming, and I was thinking maybe she’s just not a writer for me. I was bored, and it all seemed very Men Having Feelings About Fathers. But as it went along, I found myself getting more and more drawn into Ames’ life: the stuff about his father and grandfather didn’t do much for me, but his relationships with his first family, with the Boughtons, his work in the church, the way he’d reconciled himself to loneliness before Lila appears, the way his feelings for her and his son reflect the loss he suffered…I got heavily invested in the character.
Much of that was due to Robinson’s truly lovely writing. Not only is her prose lyrical, but her understanding of what it means to be a person (which sounds so hokey, but I can’t think of another way to say it) really makes the life she creates for this book feel real, and lived-in. She’s a writer who chooses her words carefully, who is capable of evoking deep, strong feelings with relatively few words. There’s a delicacy here that really captures a sense of wonder, and she knows that too much explaining would only break the reverie. Not only did I find this very moving, I bought the sequels because I want to come back to this world she created. Which is quite a feat after I started the book thinking I would eventually wish I’d stopped it. I would recommend this to anyone and everyone.