
Another trip this month, but thankfully much shorter than the one last month! Otherwise, I spent a LOT of time watching the Olympics because I am as previously discussed a giant figure skating nerd. I was reasonably to very happy about three of the four gold medal winners, but I am still salty about the French ice dancers. Anyways!
In Books…
- When They Call You A Terrorist: Patrisse Khan-Cullors (who seems to have dropped the Khan lately so I’ll just call her Cullors going forward) grew up in a poor, mostly Hispanic area of Los Angeles with two older brothers and one younger sister. Her father, who she later learned was in fact her step-father, worked for decades at the GM plant in Van Nuys before it closed with no real exit planning for its former employees. Her mother worked several minimum wage jobs to keep her family housed and mostly fed, though they still relied on school breakfasts. As a young girl, she watched her older brothers be harassed by police for doing nothing worse than being outside with their friends. Sent to middle school in the neighboring upper-class and mostly white neighborhood of Sherman Oaks based on her academic performance, she wound up needing summer school and was shocked when she realized that the freedom of the campus she’d grown accustomed to was very different in her zoned school, where she had to pass through metal detectors to enter. Her older brother Monte developed mental illness, experiencing both delusions and manic episodes that resulted in a prison sentence, where he suffered maltreatment both physically and psychologically. By the time she reached a social justice magnet program in high school, her life experience had primed her to see the ways in which American society fails the people it has placed at the bottom of its social strata. And indeed she became an organizer, launching the Black Lives Matter movement along with Alicia Garza and Opal Tometi in the wake of George Zimmerman’s acquittal for the murder of Trayvon Martin. This book recounts her life and experiences up to and including the beginning stages of BLM, and what is immediately clear is Cullors’s talent as a writer. Her prose is stirring and powerful. It is clear that she has spent a lot of time reading and thinking about the issues she raises. It is interesting reading this book now rather than when it was released n 2018, when I think I may have been less inclined to read it critically. And despite my significant political differences with Cullors, who is far to my own left, I want to preface my criticism by saying that I absolutely agree with her on the most fundamental part of the work she did with BLM: Black lives do matter, and it’s important to say that specifically because of the long history in the United States of Black lives being treated as though they don’t. That being said, I found myself irritated by the way she did not seem to feel like she needed to support her claims with evidence. There are no footnotes here. And while, for example, I very much believe that she felt like there was no support system for her in the wake of a nasty breakup with another woman of color who harassed her because of their race and sexuality, she blithely asserts that there are community-based, non-police supports available for white straight people in her situation and I am just…unaware of what those might be? She doesn’t indicate that she was seeking a domestic violence shelter, the only thing I can think of besides a restraining order that might be out there for other people to access. I also found it a little flabbergasting that she continually presents criminal behavior like breaking and entering a home where someone was present as a crime where “no one was hurt”. Yes technically true but like…that is a serious offense that likely gave someone PTSD! While I agree with her that communal responsibility is something we as a culture should focus on more, personal responsibility seemed to figure very little in her arguments and I just do not find that an especially persuasive position. Despite finding some of her arguments lacking, though, I thought this was a well-crafted memoir that illuminates, for someone like me who has not lived it, what it is to try to exist, and more than just exist, find real joy and community, in a Black, queer, female body. It’s worth a read.
- Crying in H Mart: Like many teenage girls, Michelle Zauner did not get along with her parents, particularly her mother. Her mom hoped the guitar her daughter had picked up in middle school was just a phase but Michelle started writing and performing her own music. Her mother, Chongmi, a Korean woman her father had met and married while working overseas, wanted a more stable, successful life for her only child. Their sparring over music contributed to Michelle having a breakdown in high school, eventually scraping her way into college by the skin of her teeth. Though she continued to pursue music after she graduated, spending years on the other side of the country and getting some distance helped their relationship start to improve…only for her mother to be suddenly, unexpectedly diagnosed with stage IV cancer. Determined to make up for her teenage waywardness, Michelle dropped everything to go home to help care for her mom. It was an understandably highly fraught time: Chongmi did not respond well to treatment, Michelle and her father struggled to relate to each other and give Chongmi the care she needed, and the presence of Chongmi’s longtime friend Kye to help further complicated the dynamic. More than anything, Michelle wanted to make the delicious Korean food that had been the way her mother most straightforwardly communicated love, but her skills were lacking and Kye had no interest in teaching her. When she died, Michelle was left unmoored, trying to adjust her own understanding of herself in a world without her mother. The songs she wrote to try to process her grief and released under the name Japanese Breakfast launched her into a new level of success as a musician, eventually enabling her to tour through Asia and perform in South Korea, the country she was born in. Grief memoirs are not a genre that I tend to find all that compelling. Perhaps this is a reflection of some sort of hard-heartedness, but outside of the kind of masterful display of craft in Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking, or a major historical event of some kind, there’s just very little that’s interesting about a person experiencing a profound loss and learning to come to terms with it. They all hit the same beats. I’d heard really good things about this one, though, so I had high hopes which were unfortunately not met. It’s not that Zauner doesn’t have talent as a writer, but it does make sense that this was based on an essay that went viral and was expanded out to make a whole book because there’s almost a kind of flabbiness to its narrative, as if she threw in as much extra material as she could to fill out a minimum page count. It buries what might be clear and true under a bunch of filler. There are a couple of nuggets in here that I found interesting that I wish had gotten more attention and care in terms of shaping a narrative, the first and most intriguing of which was Michelle’s relationship with Kye. The uneasy, tense dynamic between a daughter wanting to make up for her teenage mistakes versus this woman that her mother was close to but she was not, who was able to provide a kind of care to Chongmi that Michelle desperately wanted to provide but wasn’t capable of, who refused to help her learn to do the one thing, make genuine Korean food, that had so often been an expression of love from Chongmi that Michelle longed to reciprocate…that is a unique angle that I didn’t feel like I’d seen before. The other thread that got my attention was her complicated relationship with her father. We learn that she discovered that he was cheating on her mother as a teenager because he was bad at covering his digital tracks, that he’s an alcoholic, that she resented him for leaning on emotionally her during her mother’s treatment, that things between them got contentious after her mother’s death and that he eventually moved to Thailand but I wanted more reflection on how that relationship effected her, or at least more of a concentrated focus, because as is it just kind of bobs in and out of the narrative. Perhaps fans of her music would be more interested in the portions that deal with her career in that field, but as someone who doesn’t know her work those left me very bored and not even inclined to seek it out to hear it. Overall it’s far from terrible but just overstuffed and underdeveloped and I can’t really recommend it.
- Norwegian Wood: Toru Watanabe is a quiet college student in Tokyo when he reconnects unexpectedly with a girl called Naoko, who had once been a big part of his life. Naoko had been the longtime girlfriend of Toru’s best friend Kizuki, and the three spent a lot of time together in high school before Kizuki committed suicide unexpectedly at just 17 years old. Once Toru and Naoko encounter each other again, they start taking regular walks around the city, and when celebrating her 20th birthday they sleep together. Shortly thereafter, she disappears from his life, seeking treatment for depression in a remote mountain area. Toru feels committed to her, but shortly afterwards another woman enters his life: Midori, a fellow student, who practically bursts at the seams with life and vitality. Toru struggles with his strong feelings about both women as he tries to figure out his path forward and where he fits in in the world. This was one of Haruki Murakami’s first novels, and while he’s become famous for the more dreamlike style in many of his other books, this one, which is much more realistic, was an extremely popular book in his home country of Japan. As someone who’s only read one other of his novels, I found that I preferred the less strictly realistic style to this one, a surprise for me as I don’t tend to find magical realism especially compelling. For me, though, his weaknesses in writing women come into much starker relief when I as a reader am asked to believe in them as literal people. Neither Naoko nor Midori feels like an actual person in the slightest, they are clearly symbolic of an internal-turning/death drive v external-turning/life drive that Toru is meant to choose between, though he writes Toru an end-run around having to make the actual decision. This is definitely a character book rather than a plot one, but because the characters aren’t really engaging it made it hard for me to get invested in the book. I can’t recommend it, it’s fine but did not do much for me as a reader.
- The Poppy War: When Rin’s foster parents start threatening to sell her off in marriage to an old local official, she knows she needs to find an elsewhere to be. But as a war orphan in a small town in rural Nikara, there’s only one real way out: the Keju, a national exam that governs entrance into the country’s military academy in its capital city of Sinegard. With extraordinary effort, she manages to gain entrance, but finds that getting in was just the first step. She deals with prejudice, makes friends (some) and enemies (more), and struggles to learn everything she needs to learn in order to be accepted by one of the academy’s five instructors to study their art as an apprentice. While she enjoys Strategy, she finds herself drawn to the school’s master of Lore and the study of shamanism he offers. But she doesn’t even get the chance to graduate when Nikara’s great military rival, the island nation of Mugen, invades Nikara with the aim of conquering its land for their people. Dispatched to the front lines, she discovers things about herself within her squadron that she never knew before, and the lessons she’s learned are tested beyond what she could have imagined. I think most new adult (or young adult, which this is not) novels I’ve read that were written in the post-Harry Potter/Hunger Games era suffer from a similar issue, which is that it feels like they take elements of the many books in that and the YA genre that have been popular in the last 20-30 years and try to blend them together in a new and interesting way. This is not a new issue or restricted to this genre: many fantasy novels owe much to Tolkien, domestic thrillers to Flynn, and so on and so forth. The publishing industry wants to make money, so they look for books that have similarities to ones already out there that are selling well. But as a reader it leads to a same-y feeling to a lot of narratives. Here we have the One Special Girl trope, along with exclusive boarding school, the rich-boy rival, secret magic, and more! There were some things I appreciated that were left out that would have made it feel even more cookie-cutter: despite some hints at romance, none develops, Rin’s moral grayness is not her being good but unconventional, she does some truly very bad things. We aren’t treated to endless descriptions of how she’s actually very beautiful even though she’s unsure of herself. Her looks are mentioned in passing at most. But it doesn’t change the feeling that there is a lot of riffing on ideas that have been explored before, except with the twist that this is based on actual history. It’s not just inspired by the Second Sino-Japanese War, it’s very directly taken from that history. Which includes one of the most horrific events I have ever read about, the Rape of Nanking, so this is MUCH darker than is typical for young adult fare, which is definitely what I thought it would be going in. I’ve read a couple reviews from readers well-informed about Chinese history that were frustrated by how much the narrative did crib straight from the historical record but distorted it. Fot my own part, as a reader who is largely not familiar with Chinese history, I was frustrated by how much this tried to do, from a storytelling perspective, and how mixed the execution was. Kuang is biting off a LOT here in her debut novel: what seems like it should be a coming-of-age story, a war narrative with enough backstory for it to make sense, straight-up fantasy elements, genocide, contemplation of the ethics of combat, the ways in which people dehumanize each other. When I say that not all of it works, I mean that none of the individual elements really held up for me at all, everything is middling-to-bad. I wish she’d narrowed her scope and focused on quality of plot elements rather than quantity, because I was left with the sense that there was something here that could have been really good if it had been honed down to what was actually working instead of just tossing everything at the wall to see what might stick. I won’t be continuing the series, and it’s too uneven to recommend to anyone else.
- Barracoon: One of the very last people who had grown up in Africa and been sold into slavery in the United States and lived to tell the tale was a man named Cudjo Lewis, who was born in what is likely now Benin as Oluale Kossola. He was about 19 when he was captured in a raid conducted by a neighboring tribal leader, who used the slave trade to his advantage to depose local rivals and make money off of it to boot. Kossola was taken to the trading port, where he and just over 100 other men, women, and children were sold and placed on a ship called the Clotilda, which ended up being the last known slave transport into America when it arrived in Mobile, Alabama. He spent five years as a slave, and after the Civil War he and several other survivors of that slave ship, unable to raise the money to return to their homes, bought property and founded their own community which became known as Africatown. He married and had six children, and worked doing manual labor until he was struck by a train and the lawyer he hired to sue the train company for him never actually paid him his settlement. This was not the only sorrow in the back half of his life, he outlived all of his children as well as his wife. When he was in his 80s, he was visited by Zora Neale Hurston, not yet a prominent novelist and working as a collector of folklore. This book is the product of the conversations Hurston had with Kossola. While I think this was an enlightening, informative read, there was no denying that it also didn’t really work for me. Like, I appreciate why Hurston retained Kossola’s dialect in her writing for its authenticity, but it also renders the text quite challenging to read. And while I’m not naive enough to think that she did not shape the narrative in any way, she presents Kossola’s in the book in a manner similar to that in which she received it from him, including occasional backtracks and digressions and very little in the way of questioning from her to get more information about any particular subjects. Again, this makes it a more authentic presentation, but as a reader it made it hard to understand how some events were connected. I did appreciate that she kept details of her own reporting process to a minimum, so many nonfiction writers think that the story of how they got the story is fascinating and it really never is. But while I am glad I read this book, I can’t really recommend it unless you’re deeply interested in a narrative of this kind and are prepared for something that will be challenging to read.
- My Sister, the Serial Killer: We first meet Korede as she’s helping her younger sister, Ayoola, dispose of a man’s body. The man, Femi, is the third boyfriend that has ended up on the wrong end of Ayoola’s knife. In the first two instances, she believed her sister’s protestations of self-defense, but Femi’s murder hits her differently. Korede, a relatively plain woman, works as a nurse, and when impossibly beautiful Ayoola invites herself to the hospital and walks out having caught the eye of Tade, the doctor on whom Korede has long harbored a crush, she finds herself seriously torn for the first time about what to do about her sister. She confides in the only person she can, a nonresponsive patient in a coma, as she weighs the decision of whether she should continue to enable her little sister or if Ayoola setting her sights on Tade will finally drive her to do something different. This is a strange, quick little read that seems intended to be understood symbolically more than literally. The monstrousness that we as human beings will ignore to bask in the glow of beauty…Ayoola’s ill-fated paramours are not the only ones who fail to take heed of her deadliness, even if warned. She’s a very real threat to Korede, and their relationship is complicated by their sisterhood and Korede’s envy, but even she finds the idea of exiting her sister’s orbit a very difficult one to seriously contemplate. It’s sharp and often stinging, though I struggle to understand how someone might find it truly funny. But although I did appreciate its propulsive pace and social critique, as someone who reads books primarily for character, this was not a particularly great fit for me. What actually motivates Ayoola’s murders? Hard to say! I found Korede’s motivations no less opaque, even by the end of the book. It’s engaging, I bet this one would be a good fit for plot-oriented readers, and I’ll personally be curious to read Oyinkan Braithwaite’s other work because I enjoyed her prose.
- Sakura: Kaoru, a college student in Tokyo, goes to visit his family home because he learns that his father, absent from the family for several years, is about to come back home as well. There is clearly something amiss when he returns, his dynamics with his mother and sister both seem off, but the family member he can still reconnect with in a familiar, loving way is the family dog, Sakura. The full story of how this once-happy family came to be broken is revealed as Kaoru reminisces about his life, growing up with his siblings and their silly little dog. Things start out with lightness but when tragedy comes it is horrific. As Sakura does what dogs do and gets older, though, can this family survive if the one thing that holds them together isn’t there anymore? I went into this thinking, from the title and cover, that it was going to be mostly about the dog, maybe even centering the dog’s perspective. This is not the case. It also had much more whimsical vibes than I think the actual material merits. There are definitely moments of whimsy! But the places this book goes are quite dark. Tonal inconsistencies were certainly a part of this book not really working for me, but the pacing, too, played a role in that. We open in the present before heading back to the past, which made me curious about what might have happened, but then we take a loooooong time to actually get anywhere. It’s not that the time is completely wasted, there’s some good character work that I did enjoy, but knowing that there would at some point be a shoe drop meant that it felt like it was taking forever to get to that actual shoe drop point. And once that shoe does drop and what happened becomes clear, there’s a rather abrupt shift to a more comedic spirit near the end that felt very jarring. There are elements of this book that I did appreciate, in particular the aforementioned character development, but it was too uneven overall for me to really recommend.

In Life…
- Company retreat in Las Vegas: This was the third time since I’ve been at my job (for thirteen years now!) that we’ve held our annual retreat in Las Vegas, and while as a 40 year-old Nevadan I don’t tend to get all that excited about Vegas (I am no longer seriously interested in nightclubs and if I wanted to hit a slot machine I need go no further than my local grocery store), it was a really good experience! We had great meetings and conversations about the year ahead and I found a cool little secondhand bookstore to visit!






